Monday, January 23, 2017


I found an old note I wanted to post on my blog.

I was 22 back then, when I worked in NY fashion photo industry as an intern / slave.
I was also a student at Parsons School for kids who can't do math but Design.

I was 22. Fresh out of year two Parsons.
I thought "boy I'm gonna be a great designer and do interior design and secure a great job!"
Then I met a freak, I mean, a GREAT photographer.

My life got twisted ever since. I started to associate with freaks. I started meeting amazing photographers and worked for them. I became a great designer but I fuck*ng quit like it meant nothing. I became a Photographer.

This is a story of me, when I was fresh (btw, I wrote this... like 2013 or 2014...) outta Parsons school for designers year-two. A summer vacation that ended in internship NOT in design.


Step 1 to Good-bye white-collared job, ur fucked forever.
Thanks I really appreciate it, btw.


I was already working in the industry while being in school.
Not so sure if I can consider it being “working” as I was not being paid. Although, my work was being paid for, but not to me.

The industry hesitated on my progress each day.
Photos needed to be made.
I was retouching 7-page stories and a centerfold one day. Cover too. For a million dollar shoot.
Fashion photo retouching was a well paid job but the industry was shady. Interns go running around unpaid. Me? I was one of them.

I graduated interning the first week.
Then I started making phone ca
lls, arranging lefts and rights.
Walked the dog every day. Talked the bitch all day.

First month ended and I was the studio manager. Making phone calls still.
Arranging crews, go on some recruits.
Army was made under me.
I had them running for me for my boss and for my boss’s clients.

I was running in the city.
Bitch calls 2am, I’m there.

Take a taxi anytime anywhere.
Shoes here, models there, hairs-n-make-up ready in 15.
Shoot starts.

Need some coffee. An extra hot venti extra shot extra pump extra latte.
Add a Chai to that, with all the extras elsewhere.

Cat escapes.
Nightmare starts. Crews goin’ looking everywhere, model there prop here make-up in the back yard.
That’s the Queen I worked for.

Second month ended.
I had a replacement.

School starting, I had to let go.
Took a summer course, took a weekend off.

Life was 7 days, 12 hours every day.

Old people coming back, new people passing by.

3rd month ended, and I was back to desk. School started, and I had to let it go. 

May my days in the industry forever shine in memory.
Those were the days when Gansevoort still had Flaurent restaurant. 


about: NY, NY 2006. 
written: 2013 or 2014 in Singapore



Those were the days. 

It has been a decade. Decade later. 
I cry sometimes (not really) looking back. How shiny it was. 

I wish we never age. Like photography. I'm gonna die one day, like dreaming to DMT. Snap snap. 

I went to Flaurent sometimes. I couldn't really afford but my boss (name hidden) went to bug Flaurent (the owner) frequently.
One by one, people left. 

I remember the last day of this, last day of that. Last day of this, last day of that. 

I need to go take some pictures. ;)

2017, Los Angeles

Friday, January 20, 2017

Thursday, January 19, 2017

almost done

Hello passer-by. 

How do you do. 

Bam shit she split open.
Wu, wuht?? There's some color in you??

But your eyes so closed and u so blurry.
You're a bit "out-of-focus", but ur dress so in focus.
We want to shine.

Obviously those are the words running around with excuses in my head. 


I want Fuji's upcoming GFX 50S.

Can someone donate?

ma... mah email is :


you know. In case.


Wednesday, January 18, 2017

when that happens

I'm like "oh shit that shot is not in focus" half-way-in all the time #lol.

No, it's actually not funny. Lol.


Gotta move on and carry that weight.
That weight = that picture that's not in focus (but you said you gonna use...).

Don't worry Charles, I (you)'ve been in this situation many times.

So what if that out of focus pic is like this Ann whose a bit farther in back n like Bn'W Ann is like matroska?


My fellow American readers would be like "wtf is matroska?" 

because its a photography blog.

Sunday, January 15, 2017

Ann Lopez


Got that half north half south Indian mix. see it? 
Ann Lopez

I'm taking this new composition style as mine.
It's easy to duplicate, actually...

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

kinda getting there

Getting there. 

I wish it was that physical and simple. 

"You need to get it to the next level!"
"Where the F is that?"
"You know when its THERE."

Oh F u mf ba c. 
That's what I used to think. 

nah, that 'there' is there. It exists. We jus don't know where lol. 

People use tools to get there. 
To find out if you're there yet. 

Like astrology. (yeah that's right i said something super important)

Oh snap. 
We should study astroarcheology and get galactic but we ain't all Harvard. 

So we use simple tools like RGB indicator. 

All these numbers don't make sense unless you know some basic info.
Like, in computer shit, the number 255 recall multiple times. It's math.
So, if Red Green and Blue is 255/255, it means, well, 1/1 right? It maxes out data, and becomes White.
0/255 is 0/0 and therefore it is No Data = Black.

You can physically see how much data you got.
That can get you to realize things like "Oh, this bright cream color is actually like 98% white and I shouldn't fuck around anymore..."

curve tips

Histogram is a gram (data drawing) of light "history".
The amount of lights that's been captured as data, in digital photography.

So, basically, it shows stuff like "HEY WATCH OUT THERE'S THAT MOUNTAIN IN THE MIDDLE!"

That middle part rises like needle.


That little kink is actually the skin. 
What does it actually mean???

It means, that if you put your control point (white square) OVER the kink, some color blows (it turns into 100% White). 
If you put the control point UNDER, it tones down the color (RGB. color meaning all photon data).

yea yea shit that don't make sense watevs. 


So, put that square where it IS if you wanna retouch skin, cuz natural is best for nature

its new

its 2017.

its kinda...

not there yet.

but coming. trying to do something new, but that always... takes time.